It'll be awhile.....

Now that I'm almost 80 pounds down, I have some updates for you all....

Feeling pretty much normal after my most recent surgery. A few twinges of pain from the incisions every now and again, but other than that, everythings back to the way it was.

My big sister visited a few weeks ago. She hasn't seen me since before I had the surgery. She was very encouraging and seemed very happy with my progress.

On the bad side of things.....

My hair is thinning significantly. I'm not going bald, but my hair is definitely not as thick as it used to be. This is due to the fact that I'm not getting enough protein. I need up to 80 grams a day, an when your stomach is small, like mine, its a nearly impossible task. The reason this is worrying to me is because when I was heavy, my hair was one of the only things about me physically that I really liked. And when it started to thin, it was difficult to deal with. I'm relying on the fact that my hair will come back when my weight loss slowly stops, which should be soon.

And now.....a history lesson.....

A few days ago, I began experiencing physical panic symptoms for the first time in almost four years. Back then, I would have panic attacks constantly and chronically, to the point where I could not sleep (they would wake me up). It got so bad that I literally wanted to die. I recieved the help I needed through a cognitive therapist and medicine. I was back to normal relatively quickly, but that time in my life will always scar me. So, as anyone would expect, even the slightest feeling of panic terrified me. I deduced the reason for this was because about a month after surgery, I decided to stop taking my medicine, seeing as I was losing the weight (which was a big part of my anxiety) and I hadn't had any problems in a long time. As such, I began taking the medicine again and I'm beginning to feel better. It shows me that losing weight did not and will not solve all my problems. Luckily I have the tools, a loving family and amazing doctors to help me through all the rough patches I will inevitably experience in my life. I thank God (or whoever it is) for this everyday.

I'm going to focus on exercising and, of course, my school work. Peace and love!

A.M.H.